i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
