He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize