listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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