I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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