So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
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Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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