Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
