I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
thus making me awesome and them whores
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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