i just had sex bonerless
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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