I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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