I puked a lego.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
