my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
