If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
