sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
