put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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