Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr