i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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