Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
