It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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