just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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