it wasn't lemon gatorade
we made out on top of his cat.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
