i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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