if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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