please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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