i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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