oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
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you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
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Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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