Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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