Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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