I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
