remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
