mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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