okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
