I love black thongs
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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