Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
