ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
