I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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