The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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