wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
