Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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