I love black thongs
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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