Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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