then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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