Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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