Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
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If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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