i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
