I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize