I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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