Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
