Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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