Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
