Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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