woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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