I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
