After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
