don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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