In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
