he wants to bone in the snuggie
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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