turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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