Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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