I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
