i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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